Ooh, manatee-shaped baby teething toy ($10.50)! Or a manatee who got hit by a cannon ball cartoon-style.

It’s after Thanksgiving and not yet Christmas, which means IT’S TIME TO LOOK AT MANATEE THINGS YOU COULD POSSIBLY GIVE TO PEOPLE AS GIFTS! I’ll poke around the internet/Etsy for the best/worst in manatee-related products and share it all with youuuuuuuuuuu.

If you like crocheting, this Manfred the Manatee amigurumi pattern may be up your alley. Aw, Manfred, you’re so fat! …Or that might be a medical condition you should get checked out.

"Woman who rode manatee at Fort De Soto turns herself in"

A few days ago the story was something like “POLICE LOOKING FOR WOMAN WHO RODE MANATEE,” but now we know who she is and the waters around Fort De Soto Park are safe once more!

…Honestly, I feel pretty bad for the woman (and the manatee), who is now the face/body of “manatee molestation,” even if she did do something inexplicably stupid that also happens to be illegal. Authorities have reported that the manatee didn’t seem to be physically hurt. As for mentally…well, we just don’t know.

On the upside, her manatee joy ride has surely spread awareness about manatees across the intarwubs. In case you forgot, manatees are endangered; don’t touch or harass ‘em. But feel free to adopt them!

Photograph: Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office

"Woman who rode manatee at Fort De Soto turns herself in"

A few days ago the story was something like “POLICE LOOKING FOR WOMAN WHO RODE MANATEE,” but now we know who she is and the waters around Fort De Soto Park are safe once more!

…Honestly, I feel pretty bad for the woman (and the manatee), who is now the face/body of “manatee molestation,” even if she did do something inexplicably stupid that also happens to be illegal. Authorities have reported that the manatee didn’t seem to be physically hurt. As for mentally…well, we just don’t know.

On the upside, her manatee joy ride has surely spread awareness about manatees across the intarwubs. In case you forgot, manatees are endangered; don’t touch or harass ‘em. But feel free to adopt them!

Photograph: Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office

I hope someone out there really wants a manatee-shaped collage made out of salvaged butterfly wings. That person would totally flip his/her shit over this butterfly wing manatee collage on Etsy.

Dear Manatee Costume: Those are some shriveled-looking flippers you’ve got there.

Photograph: Jagrap on Flickr.

Cute manatee band illustration! By Skinny Ships on Flickr.

From The Onion comes… "I Saw Manatees Gang Rape A Crippled Manatee Once, Really - Horrifying Planet - Ep. 10"

That title pretty much covers the story. …Watch at your own risk. Or don’t! Just look at this cute baby manatee.

No meal will ever be the same once you serve it out of a manatee-shaped casserole dish. It’s on sale for only $49.95, so what are you waiting for? GIVE CASSEROLE MANATEE A HOME.

No meal will ever be the same once you serve it out of a manatee-shaped casserole dish. It’s on sale for only $49.95, so what are you waiting for? GIVE CASSEROLE MANATEE A HOME.

If you live in Alabama and your car isn’t brandishing one of these manatee-themed license plate, then you’re really not using your car to its fullest potential. Did you just feel that? …That wave of shame? Yeah.

Head to Manatee Network / Dauphin Island Sea Lab website for more info.

If you live in Alabama and your car isn’t brandishing one of these manatee-themed license plate, then you’re really not using your car to its fullest potential. Did you just feel that? …That wave of shame? Yeah.

Head to Manatee Network / Dauphin Island Sea Lab website for more info.